Before I start talking about what I wanted to talk about in a bit, yes, this is another post related to my ex. Ha ha, much surprise there. I promise I'm not obsessed with him or the whole idea of only posting that has relations to him, but the timing always lines up with me wanting to write (or not be lazy) with me bumping into something that reminds me of him. Oh wells. I warned ya so feel free to close the tab if you're not up for yet another post relating to my ex!
If you're wondering - I've been okay. Just focusing on being happy with myself and for him, too, for that matter. There's progress so that's good :) Into this progress, I blocked out all sad songs/playlists and the Christmas-y vibes helps a lot, to be honest. I just want Christmas decorations and songs played in my house because they just make me so happy! Back to the topic, 8tracks has been my best friend with supplying with not only the best Christmas playlists for now but also with aligning the atmosphere with my mood. And that is how I 'bumped' into this song called "July" by Jhene Aiko ft. Drake.
At first, I was hooked to the beat and the melodious voice of Jhene but then after listening to it a couple of times, I realised that the lyrics just matches up with my relationship with him. Some of the lyrics that I could relate was these lines - '..this is so refreshing that it means a little more to me. Dedicating time when I really can't afford to be.' - This line stood out to me in the beginning because I knew that he meant a whole lot to me and I did him, but when he started college it became a little hectic for him to dedicate his time for me. Ja feel?
The next thing I realised actually took me some time even though it's literally the name itself - "July". This only occurred to me when the chorus came in and went, 'You had to change up the game, the weather is not the same. Now there's only cloudy days. I can't stand the rain in July.' These particular lines were to be made precise if my thoughts could articulate during July; the month where he started college and 'the game', or our relationship, changed. The only thing that I can compare to with the last line is my tears as the 'rain'. I really couldn't stand it. But now that I think of it, I'm so pathetic. I should've just trusted him and remind him we'll be okay every single day.
Okay so to brighten up the mood a little, this next line is quite funny. Well, to me it is because it actually happened and it goes, 'Plus you met my mother even if it was an accident.' This is funny to me because for the longest time in our relationship, he would not let me meet his mother because she does not tolerate him mingling around with girls so to have me, his girlfriend at the time, meet his mother was never a serious topic. But we'd always joke around about it and occasionally, he would assure me one day he'd introduce me to his mother. That day never came, but that didn't stop me from meeting her hehe. So the story goes like this - one of his kitty died tragically and I found out about this from his younger brother, A. He called bawling his eyes out telling me that his kitty had passed away :( I felt horrible and so sad for him and his sister that I wanted to give them a huuuuge hug! Coincidentally, we had to send my sister's friend to her house which was located in the same area as A's house so I thought 'why not?' Fast forward, I met my ex's younger siblings, we all hugged, and his mother came out (fyi, this was at 11 at night. Sorry umi S). There's more to the story but this post would be long and out of context real fast.
The other lines that I could relate to was the typical 'what happened to us?' kind of lyrics. If you wanna hear em out, the song is really dope. It has a calm mood to it but with the refreshing upbeat, it balances out the whole song. And because of that, I won't be emotional or start thinking of me and him every time I hear the song. It's an overall great song.
And yes, I know. There's other songs that I could relate to. There's literally 26351 playlists with the tag 'breakup' on them. But I'd like to think that Jhene and I are on the same level (huehe perasan jap).
Anyways, thank you for reading.
Till next time,
x
**UPDATE: I finished my IGCSEs already so yayayayayayy okbye.
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